I just realized something true about love after I read
someone’s experience in the book. LOL, it’s damn funny to know that I was wrong
for years. May be you’ll feel the same after read this story. Please enjoy
yourself:
At one
seminar where I was speaking, a man came up and said, “I like what you’re
saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I’m really
worried. My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used
to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What
can I do?”
“The
feeling isn’t there anymore?” I asked.
“That’s
right,” he reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned
about. What do you suggest?”
“Love
her.” I replied.
“I told
you, the feeling isn’t there anymore.”
“Love
her.”
“You don’t understand. The feeling of love
just isn’t there.”
“Then
love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”
“But
how do you love when you don’t love?”
“My
friend, love is a verb. Love-the feeling-is a fruit of love, the verb. So love
her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her.
Are you willing to do that?”
In the
great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people
make it a feeling. They’ve driven by feelings. If your feelings control our
actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them
to do so.
Proactive
people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the
giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to
study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or
do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the
children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving
actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling,
can be recaptured.
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